Realization

I realized today that i have this problem
But I could never figure out why:
Why do i loath straight men who boast about some gilr they picked up walking don the street?
Why do i feel so much hate towards couples walking down the street?
Why do i feel so much malice towards guys are being "taken care of"?
Why does it sicken me to be around happy seemingly well adjusted people?

BECAUSE I'M JEALOUS!!!!!

The straight men....i mean boys because real men don't need to boast of their conquest........because i am more likely to have my life in danger if i walk up to the wrong guy and say hello on the street!

The couples because due to the laws of where we live and just the mind set of alot of people in general, i should be in a relationship with a man there is no value in me having a reltionship with a man it will not last if is have a relationship with a man because we are thought to be to "free" and even if it does last there is no protect in all of the 50 state for my long term relationship with a man!

Guys that are being taken care of......well i will just say this if you do it a few times in a tough spot fine but don't make a lifestyle of it and lie about what you do! If you a man enough to do it be man enough to fess up it so that people that take pride in getting up and going to work (not "work") everyday can have some kind of respect for you!

And those happy seemily well adjusted people........simplly put i'm not happy and you can't make me happy so i'd rather not be bothered!

Along with all of these there are many more far below the surface that need to come out but all i due time.