Ensnared

I am still chained and shackled to the being of a love the was meant to be, never realize, and now lost to the seas of life. I learned patience, humility, honesty, and compassion but were those lessons worth the feelings of lose and being taken advantage of. I spoke those cursed words and meant them as I never have before, and it was an enchantment that cause confusion and pain. When thing got to deep and lost in chaos I cut the loses I had acquired, then wrote them off as a bad investment of my heart. This has left me with a losing battle in my heart and soul is the field of battle. I still have live for him in the depths of my heart that can't let go, but they are weighs that keep me from moving forward towards the person I was meant to be with. I am ensnared in vines that I don't know how to escape.

The Purge

Today I am going to cut out part of my heart
For it is poisoned by a hope unrealized

I am going to void a portion of my soul
For the transaction I invested in was rejected by fate

I am evicting a memory that block my vision
For the obstruction has blinded me long enough

I relinquish the power I gave to the unworthy
For he could not bear the burden of being loved

I forgive his ignorance for he lacks fortitude of the soul
But I will never forget his indifference to the pain he caused me

With these words I purge you from my life
Sweet tainted lord of illusion be free to dwell in your world without me
As you go on I pray you will find the same peace that I seek out by letting you go

Death Wish

As the glare of my tears blurs my vision
I see my love for you as clearly as the day I professed the words before you
But just because it lingers does not mean it was ever mean to be
I gave you access to my world and forgot to protect its greatest treasure which is me

When I see you I feel ill with emotions like pain anger hatred and confusion
It pains me that you can't see the anger in my eyes and the hatred that you wrought leaving me confuse my your illusion

Under garb and guise of man you shelter fear and doubt
And you allow them pull the strings as you dance about

I spoke to life a reality the I held close to my heart hoping to rewrite the heavens beside you
End the end the curtain was drawn, in this revelation I wish my love would have died right along with the trust I had for you
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Mistitled

The jewels have lost there luster
All that glittered has gone dull
As the sun peers through the clouds all it highlights are the flaws and missteps
Because that is all that is left when I fall in love

I feel like a trickster
I coax feelings out of people that they can not bear to acknowledge
And when me hex wears off I am the one left heart broken because I felt the same for real!

I have mastered bending the fates and will of other through my wisdom and counsel
So with all that I know, will this profound incite why do I always miss the market

Is this the cost my soul has to pay for the sins of my past life
Am I to find and preserve love for the world and never to have it for myself

Often I get called an angel for my grace before many things
But the title is one I am not worthy of
For I am not nearly selfless enough to live my love alone without having someone to wake next to and let the first words I say to them be "I LOVE YOU"
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Cursed Flame Still Burns

Love still has a vice grab on my heart
Issue unresolved, questions unanswered, feelings unexplored
Your silence is like a storm trapping me on a curse island
Please just speak the words so I may pass
Say you love me, be with me, share your heart with me
We shall set the world before us by our design and desire
Say you hate me, curse my name, tell me it was all false
We will both be able to move on and heal in our own time
I hide it well but your silence has tainted my heart and I am tired
I resolve is strained in your present so much so that it hearts to breath
If silence is your answer, my love can never rest
Fill until you tell me the truth, this flame I cannot extinguish
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I was willing

I granted you a glimpse into my reality, I let you peer beyond the vale that hides the softer parts that dwell inside me
I exposed my positivity to you, I offered to bear your burdens along with mine as a good friend would and a lover should....

IN RETURN:

You shielded me from your depth in the hope to spare me be overwhelmed with your baggage as well as mine. Though the sentiment was valiant, it has left me with hurt feelings and unanswered questions.
You ushered yourself to a place of silence, numb to even my platonic affections let alone my attempts to make you more comfortable with the idea of exploring romance.

IN THE END:

I still love you and that may never change, but I love myself more so I can't sit around waiting for someone who can't or is not willing to try.

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Return to Heartbreak

You told me I would never see this place again
This city of darkness where my sorrow blocks the moonlight

I told you my history and was assured it would be rewritten
Yet as I turn the pages, the next chapter is the same story with a different leading man

I bore my soul to you and that was show to me was your back and all that was heard was chilling silence

I bear many burdens just as you but I would never allow my pain to knowingly hurt another
You cannot claim not to know because you were told my feeling which were/are as transparent as glass

I spoke the words I LOVE YOU aloud from my own mouth unprovoked whole hearted and honestly
I am hurt that you did not respect me enough to just say NO instead of letting my fall on my face

You told me I would never see this place again
Yet you have booked me a one way ticket back to HEARTBREAK!
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